Last important incident was Jay claiming I flirted with my harasser at work...

He's got a horrible generalization of women, I'm not being put down to that level, and so we aren't together. He's wrong about me and has a lot to learn about opening up to a person. The more he acts the way he does, the less I care. Which is good for me because I don't even think about it in regret anymore. I'm done wishing, caring, and explaining myself. We've been hanging out since Sunday, but just as friends and sometimes when we get in the mood, a little bit more. But I'm not wasting my affection and feelings on someone like him. I was stupid to even want him to ask for my number. If I'd have known this past week would take place, surely I would have called in sick that day we met.

But I see that I've also learned some things. Nobody has ever made me feel so content and satisfied in a relationship and that's how two peopl together are supposed to feel. I'm a fool to have wasted 10 months of my life with Jeremy and never coming close to what me and Jay had in a month. I figured out that I'd do a lot for a person I'm in so deep with. I almost lost my job on Sunday when I walked out to try and talk to Jason, and I missed my math test this morning when I drove to his house to try and make him see that I still cared. It's no use

I was overwhelmed with emotions on Tuesday;
Jay shut me out and didn't flinch at the sight of my tears. He walked out on me when we were supposed to be going for a ride on his motorcycle to the beach, and he lied and said he'd be right back. I almost believed him when he said that, but I knew in my heart he didn't have to promise me anything anymore. So that night when I went back over there, I decided to get a tattoo.

"Relish Today Remorse Tomorrow"

Perfect for me considering I set myself up on this whole Jason ordeal and that's usually the way my life goes. I cried my way through the whole hour of it and never once thought it to be bearable.

"Sarah don't think about the pain! Think of something else"

That's the first thing she said to me, so immediatly I thought of Jason. Most of my tears were inflicted by those thoughts more than the pain. I'd sob a whole lot and throw my hands on my face in agony, then wonder why I was crying so hard. I like the tattoo and it means so much to me so I'm convinced I won't regret it.
I went out to lunch with the guy, Todd, who pierced my nose and belly button. He's an interesting character, with his 34 piercings, dread locks, and "open relationship" with a bisexual girlfriend that mothers his 2 year old child! He's only 20, but he's in love. He can date and have sex with anyone as long as there aren't any feelings involved...
WOW if I was TRULY in love I'd never agree to that bullshit. Jason found out and wants nothing at all to do with me. If only he'd just confess that it bothers him when other people show an interest in me, and then I'd say the same thing and question why we aren't together with mind sets like that.
I know why he's so upset: I went to lunch on Thursday afternoon, and Wednesday night Jason came over and spent the night. We cuddled and kissed and I know he cares. I'm not trying to sneak around, I just thought it would be fun to get to know Todd.
Now I want to get to know Brian...he's charming. So incredibly nice and I can just see that he's the type of guy I go for. Not in the physical part so much (He's tall and skinny), but I can tell by the way he looks and talks to me that he's a guy I'd go for in a heartbeat. He remembered my name from Sunday and he even asked if I was okay about the whole Jason thing. That's sweet and I made it VERY clear that me and him don't talk anymore. Hopefully Brian will be working tomorrow that way I can make a move.
I'm only worth as much as a guy makes me