The odds are for me while they work agianst me. Seems complicated but it's a statement in its truest.

It's a seemingly simple matter that I have here; me liking Jason and him returning the emotions. But for some reason I keep finding obstacles that don't allow him to let go, and It only pushes me further back to start from the beginning. It's like earning so many points in a video game and getting so far into the levels, only to die and start agian as a nobody trying to make it to the top.
Suprisingly he called me even though we had plans to do our own thing...he said being alone would be too boring without me. I was astonished by his high spirits and how happy he seemed to be with me.
From down the grape vine I heard that when Shane asked Jay to go out last night he replied loudly,

"Hell no! Sarah is coming over, I'm not going anywhere"

Very sweet and very good to know considering I heard it from someone's mouth other than his. It's always a good feeling to know that someone is happy when they are around you and they want to express that by affection and eagerness to please. To make a horribly long story short, we went to my car to get my stuff and my phone rang by a number I had never seen. Like an idiot I answered and persisted on finding out who the anonymous, discriminating voice was. It was a very rude person talking a lot of crap to me and Jason...
Naturally Jason hated the fact that there was "Drama" in my life and he called it "Excess Baggage" from Jeremy. Oh anyone can imagine how sad I was and how heart broken I became over the obvious fact that the night was trashed! All because of something I didn't do and had no control over. I can plead my innocence all I pleased but the facts were agianst me and he looked down upon me in disapointment. No matter how many apologies I gave his mood didn't soften nor did he say anything to comfort me. I shouldn't have even had to apologize for one thing, and for another I was pretty much the "victim", so to speak. He let down a little bit and gave me a kiss and said it was alright, but the whole night he was quiet. It was an awkward silence between us despite the huge crowd at his house. We went to sleep around 2:00am and talked it over. I suppose things are okay now and at work he was very flirtacious; being quick to look my way with a kiss or massage my shoulders while walking behind me. It felt good to be recognized as something he had and wanted...
We made our plans for later on tonight, which don't exactly consist of a whole lot. (DVDs and a rain check on a body massage) I get what I can take though right? I don't mind and I am definatly not complaining about not doing much, for it's the mere fact of being around and with him that I like. Later couldn't come any sooner...