I grow weary trying to defend myself and make him understand that I'm myself and unlike anyone else he's known before. It's always walking a fine line with him, for I never know if someone is going to cause something that he'll call "drama", and who knows when or if I'll get a call from He Who Must Never Be Mentioned. Last night we both did our own thing and this morning he greeted me at work with a kiss! I was so happy, and he sat down to eat something with me so I was in a great mood. Not even an hour after that he walks up with a stupid little note saying, "We need to stop seeing eachother- I can't date someone I work with"

BULLSHIT MOTHER FUCKER!

I knew right away what it was about:
That morning Steve and I were TALKING and he was being perverted. Somehow, someway it got back to Jay that I was flirting. I know for a fact that I was not because the second I heard what Steve was talking about, I told him to be quiet and that he had a sick mind. I thought of Jason and I kept my flirtacious mouth shut. Oh I would have a ball flirting with him and kidding around all day but I don't. Nor do I do that with anyone since Jason has called me a flirt. So naturally I went in the back office and cried for a minute and then decided to stay late when I head he was working a double. I'm sneaky like that! So at like 4:30 I saw his shirt untucked and he was carrying a cigarette...

"Oh no!" I thought, "he's not working a double! And I'm not going to be able to stop him outside and talk to him"

I dropped everything and ran outside to catch him, which I did! I could have gotten fired for just walking out but a sweetheart covered my ass and took care of my business. I argued with him for 10 minutes about how I wasn't flirting and I went through the WHOLE scenario, then for another 20 minutes I spilled my heart out on the asphalt while he spit on it and didn't look at me once.

My heart hurt a lot.

I've never been so happy with a person and the last thing I wanted to do was lose him! I locked hands with his and made him look into my eyes, I rubbed his back and clenched onto his stomach. He was giving in when I let go of his hand and he was still holding on, so I had some hope. He said that we would talk tonight and that he's really confused about a lot of things...he's the most unstable person I have met! Before I left work he said he'd call when he got out and we'd go to his house or he'd drive here. I hope things go my way, he should realize at the sight of me that I'm not here to decieve him and the last thing I want to do is hurt him. He's got nothing to lose with me.
The thought of him not calling or not talking to me tonight, makes me cry almost instantly. I have to push those pessemistic ideas away or else I'll have a mental breakdown.
It's sad how much I care for him, the lengths I'd go and what I'm willing to do to be with him.