Will I Ever Make It Home, Will I Ever Leave The Ground [leave this place so far behind, where there is no turning back]

Did i think that this would never end? And if i did think it would, was i under the assumption that i would be nonchalant?

i thought i couldn't wait to move out. i thought that i'd start that long drive south with a smile on my face. but this marks the end of freshmen year. these songs, moments, and routines that characterize this point in time, are sealed inbetween August[2004] and April[2005]. the only way back are through these ambigious posts that are too vague to remember what goes on. i dont write enough about my life.

i never wrote about working at abercrombie. how i memorized the entire tape and my favorite songs were "i turn to you" by that spice girl, and "san fransisco" by ?. never wrote about how much i hate folding clothes and how ANAL they are about precision and neatness. i always went to starbucks on my break-
viente ice passion tea, no sweetner cause i add honey myself.

didnt write about carrabbas. how 50 cent and G unit remind us of rolling silverwear in the back. danielle, hildy, and I now have a three person routine to ANY 50 cent song. (i sort, hildy polishes, and danielle rolls...damn ill miss that) i began begging for quarters shortly after i discovered the M&M and reeses peices machine in the back. i promise you, D money had found his purpose when he woke up in the morning, and it was bringing an abundance of quarters to work for me. the second i walked in the back he would hold out his hand and there would be a quarter, he'd laugh and say,
"i got a quarter for you baby" i was strangly comfortable with him. as weird and cooked up as he most likely is...he makes me laugh. aw hell i might marry him- he's big enough. [kidding guys!!!!!

how could i leave out my ignorance? my obsessions? what the fuck is lodging? who came up with that name and decided it should mean 'a place to stay'. im at a loss. FUNERAL HOME? see that makes no sense because it sounds like a morgue or a place where they keep the stuff for funerals. im going to marry one day. soon i hope. and he'll be borderline obese with clogged arteries and high cholesterol, just the way i like them. hildy will marry too- he will be emaciated, lookin like somethin straight out of the german concentration camps. he will probly be jailbait too. and danielle will have this hot guy, the normal guy[probly EX boy, starts with a K ends with a YLE.], and she will STILL be saying,

"what the fuck is wrong with you guys? are you blind?"

i guess so, cause i think everyone is hot.

never anything about angies- a little peice of heaven on earth. i would miss class for this place. i have missed class for this place. i stole the peruvian sauce this afternoon on our last trip of the year. i looked like shit, and i saw a big truck and swore if it was J the-you-know-who i wouldn't go in.

our drinking habits. how could i miss it. if i so much as even LOOK at a bottle of alcohol...im wasted. hildy can drink 3 bottles of 151 and she's got a BUZZ. if that. and then danielle- the normal one.

who drives the worst? i dont know. danielle cant do two things at once. im suprised she can chew gum and walk to class. she might as well pull over to talk on the phone while shes driving. she covers the horn like shes getting paid big bucks to do so...i swear she thinks everyone turning onto the road is out to side-swipe her. apparently danielle says shes had some death threatening close calls with Hildy- but i cant testify to that.
so i guess im the best driver. except when smoking with chelsea. i went 35/40 mph in a 55. oops.



i guess the most important part of this semester was the two people that took me in. ill say that sappy isnt my thing cause i like it rough[smack me around a little bit, pull my hair, and make me bleed- whoa sorry]- but when it comes down to the truth i wont deny that tears swell at how thankful i am for Hildy and Danielle. I was too wrapped up in my own life 1st semester and that was ok. but when I hit rock bottom i cant remember how many times danielle invited me to come out. how much she and hildy let me into their friendship to find that there was happiness outside of a relationship. now granted, id choose a relationship leading towards marraige any day- i really have learned the importance of friends. maybe i didnt notice it until i was in desperate need of them, but i feel like the two of them gave it to me as much as they could.

i dont care how stupid you guys think i am, or how much of a paranoid WORRYER i am in regards to time...you fuckin love it. and to think all those times you tried to tell me that i was too dumb to hang out with you guys...deep down you really liked it. ill miss you guys. but it wont be long till i meet you at 3am in the third shower stall....we can always sneak back into the hall for some fun.

love you- sarah!!

[ "hey! doctor!" "well hurry up cause i gotta get trisha!" "whos that spartan in my teepee?" "sup" "you wanna make out? no? ok, maybe tomorrow? no? ok!" "diced peaches huh?" "alexis!? im only MAD at her! what alexis! what!" "ross! emily, thank god! i was just about to- YOU SUCK! break up still on!" "my dawson...and carlos" theres too much and i have a bad memory]