Tomorrow is Easter and I don't have the time to spend it with my mother. I feel bad but I can't do anything to get out of this double shift I've got on my hands.
I'm really enjoying talking to Abercrombie Boy. He's sweet and not shy at all, which leads to how incredibly easy he is to talk to and refreshingly not perverted. It's nice to have a conversation that doesn't wander underneath eachother's clothes and stays on a polite basis. Sunday after work he's taking me out for ice cream if anything is open, or maybe get some desserts from Pappas and take it to his house to watch a movie.
I wish it was Jason who wanted to spend that kind of time with me, but I'm still happy with the friendship we have. He wanted me to go over to his house after work since we both had to be in tomorrow at the same time, but I really want to sleep in my own bed tonight. I've been at his house for two nights and I don't get a very good night's rest considering I'm completely paranoid about what he thinks I look like in the morning. So I like to wake up first and shower then wait for him to silently walk in and pinch me as he cleverly slips in the shower too. I wish I would have slept over there tonight, but I need to let him go. He was in my life to show me how to let go of something I didn't even want or love. He showed me what a relationship is supposed to feel like and how two people are meant to act when in "love". (that's not at all to say we were in love, i simply mean two people feeling for eachother)
I had fun today! I woke up to Jason's annoying laugh and the sound of him cussing at his hair while at the same time lecturing me on what's good and bad. For some reason he feels the need to show some protective authority; everyone knows I'll listen to him. He says he worries because I'm not the same person as when he met me...I have been demonstrating a rebel streak that scares him. He's so lame...all I did was try one little drug and got one little tattoo now he's looking at me with his sad blue eyes with some actual sencerity behind them! (yeah shocking) After the lecture I went to the bagel shop with some girls and I got help with math. I need to buckle down these last weeks of school and do the right thing with my grades and attendence. So then I went over to Jay's to visit with Jessica. I feel for the girl with all my heart; she's 18 living with Shane and thinks she's in love. He might say and show love sometimes but the lack of communication and care shows me otherwise. If your truly in love, you don't slam the door on a crying face, nor do you turn your body away in silence as the other person confesses their love. She doesn't realize that it's going to come crashing down on her and I see it everyday. He works all day and stays out all night while she waits at home like a bitch with only me to keep her company. She's one batch of cookies to move away from her life in New Jersey to live here with Shane.
Well I had a conversation with the head chef tonight at work that really got me thinking. Him and the general manager really made me stop in my tracks and look at who I'm "needing" and who I really am. They witnessed all that I did and all I said for Jay...
They also say I wasted my time and got myself into trouble with someone of a lower class. But really they were talking quite highly and said that maybe I'm attracting the wrong guys. My appearance is nothing short of classy, therefore how is it that I find the forever 21-skank bitch-loving men?
It's the toungue ring...