Note to self:
Stay away from the rich man's drug/ the drip is annoying/and the taste is repulsive.

Well let me just say that when I got to Jessica's his stuff wasn't packed at all. I was reluctant to do so, but I remembered leaving a lot of clothes in his closet, so I figured I should take them home and wash them. The first thing I walked into was a million tags and new clothes sprawled all over the room as if he had the best job in the world. But let me remind myself that he's got no job and won't be on his feet until the end of May...? So where may I ask, is he getting the money for these nice clothes? Jessica said I didn't want to know because it would probably upset me, so I left it to that. There are a number of illegal possibilities, but then there are more innocent ones that scare me even worse. I don't want to know anything about his life anymore, I'm done with the messages on the eraser board and the phone tag for plans. Supposedly I'm over it, but I know that I'm not even close.
Anyhow...
Me and Gavin have been speaking agian. We were previously talking a lot, however Jason walked in the picture and I blew off the world with him included. I didn't say that's why I lost so much touch, but I'm sure he can imagine that I don't work 24 hours a day. However, me and Gavin have this special bond that no matter how much time has elapsed or what's happened in our lives, we still have the same feelings. It sounds far fetched, but without him I would feel like there is nothing to look forward to in life. Eventually my heart will find his and things will turn out the way they are supposed to. I remember the first time I met him; at a party with a totally wasted sense of perception. He came in the back door with a hood over his head from the rain and I watched him slowly come in thinking how shady his character looked. But when he took off the hood his face was so soft, and his eyes seemed to grab mine and pull me over to him.
It was different but when I randomly asked for his number he rejected me! The sweet, drunk that wanted to go on a date was DENIED!
"Your a very drunk girl right now and I don't want to give you my number because you won't remember me the next day! Sorry if I don't feel like looking like an idiot"
He was cold to me I thought, but I think he was being shy and protective. He's not the hottest pepper on the plate so it's not like everyone is dying to fork at him,(wow i totally made that up) but that attracts me in a person. I knew from the conversations we were having that he was a genuinely nice guy that was probably taken advantage of in the past. But fate took me to another party that he was at and the second I saw him I yelled out to him from across the room,
"Gavin I'm not drunk and we are making out tonight!!!"
I think I was a little overly excited because we didn't make out but I managed to score the number at last. I'll never forget how we met cause it was like an instant click; like two puzzle peices that fit so perfectly together. You couldn't find me without him after that, and unfortunatly there was much to dispute about and a lot of unwanted drama between the girls. I wasn't blowing them off, I was simply living the last 2 weeks of my summer FOR MYSELF. I've never been the type to think to the extremes when with a person, but I was definatly looking far down the line. I can't explain why but I knew that we were supposed to know eachother and I knew that he was something I needed to experience. I don't have those existing, romantic feelings so much anymore, but I still have feelings for him enough to talk and want to spend time. He'll forever be in my heart but not anything more than memory.

I'm off like a prom dress...