I can specifically recall the time when I heard a conversation about shooting someone. I remember being speechless and wide eyed as I just listened to their reasoning and how shallow it really was. I wondered what would possibly consume such a wonderful person to do such a horrible act to another, and this wasn't the first time I made a discovery about someone I thought I knew so well. Perhaps it was the way that we were both raised...? Me coming from a secure and more stable backround compared to his so jumpy and deliquincy-like. But he came out okay despite some mental and physical scars, and a mind set that I wished everyday would change for mine and other peoples favor.
I thought in my head of some instance that I could possibly relate to or connect with in some way so that maybe the idea wasn't so insane.
Like a flame catching some material to set the world ablaze, that memory came to me and unfolded like wild fire; burning across the back of my eye lids.

That day didn't happen long enough ago for me to forget that I'd been hit in such a way that equaled out to being shot. It hurt just as much if not worse for the scars have sustained the length of time and ebrasion of beatings from the feelings behind the theoretical "gun" that were even less careful. I can vividly recall laughing, playing, teasing, and then pain followed by a long silence. My body froze and an uncomfortable stillness surrounded me as I stared in astonishment at that which I believed to know so well. Held captive by the sight I didn't move an inch and nothing went through my head but fear, as though it might jump out agian strike a final time. How, when I had spent so much time and effort on something could it turn around and hit me in such a way to lose my breath and trail of thought...?
Staring at those images and symbols of lust was like one hard pound on the door of unhappiness, and I swore to withdraw and never agree to do such a seemingly innocent favor of affection.
These loving hands retired as an aide in relaxation and long will it be due to fright before they see those familiar days agian.