Watch Your Broken Dreams Dance In And Out Of The Beams Of A Neon Moon

About this time last year I was doing the same thing. Writing about the ease it was in which to find a "partner" but the lack of love in each. My 2004 brought a series of unfortunate relationships; each missing the boat every time. (I believe that's the expression...not sure?)

Psycho Ex, DHS, Abercrombie, and Chris, wanting/loving me...and me not so into it for the long term.
Me obsessively loving Jason...and him not so into it for any terms but his own.

It's the end of that year and with it is supposed to come the newness and fresh start of a beginning. But It's the second day into the new year and I feel the same as I did during my graduating year. I'm still missing the boat while thinking I can still make it if I just hurry up or take a short cut.

The day won't come quick enough when I find the person who will put an end to that monotonous search. A thousand tiny ants will be exposed from under a log in my child like search for you

Brought in the New Year with a small bang...nothing too crazy except my attitude when I'm drunk apparently. Screwed up a friendship that was already twisted and wasted, made out with the hottest guy I've seen since...(I don't know), and talked trashy to a few friends that called to wish me well. Good times...

Realized that no, Mike isn't giving me time to breathe...he's cutting me off. What a complete 180 huh? That's fine I was skeptical and hesitant as it was, but still hopeful. I don't care who it is, a woman always hopes that the mutual interest between her and her current boyfriend is the permanent one. Who doesn't want to find that one person? That search is what wakes me up every morning and stimulates my mind to push forward. It's exciting not knowing what each day brings and who may cross my path. In the back of my mind I'm dressing for the possibility of running into him and the love that luminates my eyes is put there by someone who doesn't even know we (as one) exist yet.

Sleeping is for dreamers...good night. Perhaps I'll see you there