The first and only thing I had been wanting to happen was that he'd call me and want to talk. Every night since Monday I had wanted him to regret his mistake and come crawling back with endless "sorrys" and "I Miss you". Last night Shane called and I didn't really care about talking to him, so I ignored the call and went about with my business. For a split second the thought crossed my head that it would be Jason...I brushed it off because that's what I have been dreaming of that hasn't come true. Silently I cursed myself for being so immature and pathetic. Shane, or so I thought it was, had left me a voicemail that I honestly wasn't going to listen to at first. I figured it would be something stupid, but I'd give it a whirl anyways...
"Hey what's up this is J, I was just calling to see if you wanted to come out tonight. Call me back please...don't be mad at me"
The first thing that went was my heart...then my body started shaking and I couldn't believe that he had called. After calling back we chatted a little bit and he said to come over and we could talk about stuff. I was elated, there wasn't anything that could bring me down, not even Jeremy telling me that he hated me. As far as I was concerned, nothing mattered except that Jason wanted to see me.
I got to Denny's house and it was everyone from work so I felt ok about being there, and then I saw her:
The one that got his number after knowing I already had it and was crushing big time. Why was she here? I smiled and gave her the biggest, most superficial hug and promised that I missed her and would call to hang out soon.
Yeah Right Bitch!
Unfortunatly Shane and Rob were hanging on me and bothering me for the whole hour I was there, so naturally Jason is with her. She's not half as pretty as I am, and she has a big nose which he personally commented on to me. I started getting upset and started drinking hardcore (keep in mind that it's a school night here). After about 5 shots of Captain Morgan and watching them talk together, I was heated and wanted to go home. I grabbed my keys and headed for the door saying I wasn't having fun and I wanted to go home. Now, I hate to look as though I'm starving for attention because that wasn't it at all, but everyone made this huge thing and took my keys and flocked around me. I felt stupid and really annoyed about still being in that house. I said to everyone,
"Look I can just talk on the phone and I will be okay"
Jason looked at me with this heartless face and said,
"Yeah we all know Jeremy will talk to you".
I couldn't believe he said that, I had no words for him and my jaw dropped to my knees as I walked back inside to collapse on the couch. People started getting really messed up and someone gave me some pill that made me unable to walk straight, let alone drive a car. Somehow everyone got in three cars to take this one guy home and Jason said he'd follow me to Dunedin so I got home ok. Jerk- I didn't need him to follow me. I couldn't have done it on my own, and I definatly wouldn't have driven but I was feeling stubborn and rude.
After they left me and him went on the dock of Denny's pool and were talking. He told me that he knew exactly why I wanted to go home and that he didn't like her like that. They apparently went to the movies and hung out afterwards which really made shit hit the fan. I was so drunk I didn't even realize how mad and open I was being.
"How could you tell me something like that knowing that I like you so much and am so upset that you aren't with me..." blah blah
I spilled my guts about how sad I had been and all that I thought, I guess it helped me cause he looked at me and did the same. He said that there was something about me and he couldn't figure it out, that I was the nicest girl he'd ever met and nobody wanted to do the things I've tried and brought up to him about. He said that he probably didn't deserve a girl like me and I would be something good in his life, but then he's scared. Scared that I'm going to have so much baggage with Jeremy and I'll go back to Jeremy when he finally starts to fall for me.
I said he wasn't in any danger of falling for me but he disagreed. Being drunk and standing only with his help I repeated so many times,
"Please fall for me Jason! I like you so much! We are perfect for eachother"
Oh God do I feel like a dousch bad today, and that isn't even the half of what I said. He drove my car back to Dunedin with me and he spent the night. Amazingly I held back and allowed him to be a perfect gentleman the whole night. It made me feel better to not do anything so that I didn't feel that sex was the motive behind spending the night.
He asked me to be his Girlfriend agian and we cuddled all night. I never thought to myself that we'd get back together...never. I had wished and hoped, but I chose to look at reality. Guess I was wrong.
Tiffany met him this morning and we all hung out and teased my mom about not coming home last night.
"Mom your a pimp" Tiffany said...I don't even know if my mom knows what that is.
Unfortunately on my way to work I got in an accident so I'm kinda sad about that. Nothing big just a minor fender bender...but I have to pay 80$ and that isn't minor to me! Jason was sweet the whole time comforting me and telling me it's ok and that it happens to everyone.
"This is why I'm your boyfriend, to take care of you and make you feel better when you make a mistake"
I like him and I know that this time is going to be different.