What did I say? Hold on I'm recalling the predictions from my last post...
Oh yes- the next time I wrote it would be wonderful, filled with bliss of how we spent our time. That night he did show up at 8:00...I said I really, honestly didn't appreciate the lack of courtesy he showed towards me.
"Even though you don't have any obligations to me...can't you atleast call? I was throwing away offers to DO things with friends that I could have done by now"
I got the apology deal and lotsa kisses which made my anger turn to lust. I can't stand the overpowering affect he has on me and how it only takes a smile or quick look of the eyes to make me melt. Jeremy never could do that...I need that attraction in me and I'm glad I have found it agian.
So we spent our Friday night in my living room talking and watching a movie that we really didn't pay any attention to. My mom was feeling shitty and she was crying a lot...so we went to Mcdonalds and got her a Big Mac. We went down to the causeway, rolled a joint and started talking more in depth. He said that we was thinking about me and he loved the way we were acting at the present time. My hopes fell and my heart sunk to my kness when I heard that,
"I don't want things to change between us, I like how things are going"
Being an insecure girl and having a lot of feelings for him, I took it that he didn't want to take us any more serious, no obligations, no relationship. Suddenly the night and the past few days turned to shit and were completely meaningless. He saw the look on my face and questioned what the problem was considering he said something "good" in his eyes. With a loud laugh and a frantic voice he asked me what I thought of his comment and how I interpreted it. I told him and he laughed harder calling me typial and questioned what type of guy did I think he was. He said that wasn't at all what he meant, in fact it was the complete opposite. Relief slowly started flowing through my body and I was at ease once agian. We went back to my house and we layed on the couch and agian he started asking me questions of our status. How was I supposed to answer those without knowing what he thought? I couldn't tell him the whole truth of my intentions and wants because what if he wanted nothing at all from me?
"What would you call us?"
Oh god...how could I say it without looking too desperate, or needy?
"I think...I don't know, I think....we are just two people who like eachother...?"
I looked quickly and anxiously at his face waiting for his response. Would he say something good or just bland so that I couldn't make out anything he was thinking. I asked him what he thought and he was silent and I took that horribly. In my head I was screaming a million miles a minute with questions and comments.
Finally he spoke very slowly, quietly, and nervously. He was really shy and made what he wanted to say even worse by drawing it out.
"Would you....Um...Well I was just wondering if...would you consider being my girlfriend?"
hahaha I accidentally laughed aloud and asked him if he was serious. He looked puzzled and almost scared at my reaction, as if he was a little kid about to be told that he wouldn't get dessert if he didn't eat the vegetables.
I was shocked, absolutely taken back by the question because as he was drawing it out I was wishing/thinking in my head,
"Wouldn't that be awesome if he asked me out. I'd be so happy, life would be great with him"
And then he did it, he asked me and stupid me being shy and speechless I simply kissed hard and smiled.
"Was that a yes kiss?"
So obviously we kissed for the rest of the night and I expressed my decision through kisses...It's comforting to lie with him and KNOW that I don't have to do anything to please him or to make things seem more worth while. After making the horrible mistake of seducing him on the 2nd night, I was mortified and feared that he would think that's what he could get any time. I talked to him about it and he assured me that wasn't what he was after and he wouldn't waste his time and money if he was. I believe him considering ever since that incident he's only kiseed me "downtown" and on the lips. Nobody has ever ventured south and made it feel so good...he's a keeper.

Last night was weird though. At work we were sweet to eachother and his buddies kept comin up to me and "congratulating" me and telling me how he talks about me and really likes me. So work was nice with his little smiles amidst the busy atmosphere and his occasional hang time by the hostess stand to "look at the board and his tables". We went to the movies and something was wrong with him. I got so worried that maybe he had changed his mind, or rethought what he asked me. He said he wasn't going to tell me until the next day and that made me so upset. He acted kinda distant and I was sooo disapointed to the point that I just wanted to leave and go home. He said he was tired and he wanted to get some sleep so right when we got to my house he left. I decided not to fret cause that's how you get upset and hurt, so I called my sister and we talked for a long time. I got a beep from a weird number and it was Jason saying that he was sorry and he didn't want to go home so could he come back over.
We went to the beach and on the way he expressed how we was worried and didn't think I was over Jeremy. He thought that we would talk and miss eachother and eventually get back together.
That's ridiculous, and that's when I took it upon myself to tell him the detials and explain why I could never get back with him. He said that my relationship sounded like his previous one so he could understand and relate. After that he felt better and was a lot more happy.
We took a blanket down to "our secluded spot" and layed there for a long time. We kissed and talked and it was nice to just lie there with someone who cares. I forgot how much I missed kissing someone and loving it; how much I had been lacking the attraction and desire for the person who was on top of me. It was nice to have someone like him there with me and there wasn't any pressure or beholden feeling that I should be DOING something for him.
He just called and he's still at work...
I'm making dinner for us and then I have to think of something randomly fun to do afterwards.
Happiness at last...