I'm done. No really..

I'm done!

How can I try and play a guy whose scamming me himself? I'm not going to sit here and play games and watch someone else do as they please. I can specifically remember a time when everything was monitered and analyzed...but I do none of this. I say my opinion in a casual manner and leave it to that...

Moving on

Had a nice dinner last night on the water in Georgia and relieved my stress in the best way I knew how(wink wink). Aromatherapy oil really does the trick...
He's not too bad in bed, but for being 24 I was expecting some awesome sex. It was applaudable (is that a word?) and I got what I needed

Studying is going very good. I continue to amaze myself with an A+ on my Jazz exam and a garunteed passing grade in this math class. Well I don't want to be too confident but I can fail it miserably with a 50 and still pass. However, I want atleast a B so I'm here in the library (taking a break obviously) doing what I can to prepare myself.

I'm so confused and overwhelmed. I will be incredibly grateful for the break I'm about to have. I need to get the hell out of Jacksonville, I've never met so many people with the same mind set as myself in regards to a relationship. I don't think I can handle it and I want out... I used to want what they want and I used to dream about all they speak of and wish to me about.
I don't want the drama I'm finding myself in because I want to make friends and put myself out there. These people don't know what they are talking about because I've done nothing but be myself and I can't help the feelings they caught. But I'm not going to be questioned and I'm not going to emerse myself in these serious conversations about where the friendship is going...because it's going nowhere unless into the trash.

Why couldn't I have had this problem when I wanted something with someone?

I hate the idea of losing friends over desire but I'm realizing it happens more often then I realized before. It's like, If not this way, then it's no way. Which seems unfair to me but I can't change the way things happen...