I had a really nice weekend at home. 

Never had I had the chance to spend the night with someone and regretted not doing so.  I don't know why but I feel sad almost.  It's never felt so right and so good to have that person there with me, I think at times I have felt good about it, but more so now.  Maybe because I'M ready as a person now, opposed to when I wasn't and I felt pressured.

 As far as I know I don't want to involve myself with anyone here though.  I like the way things are going and I haven't met anyone that has made me feel too much.

But I miss the past two days dearly.  I can't really explain it and it angers me that I miss it...
I hate the feeling of confusion and not being able to talk it out with the person.  It brings tears to my eyes the way I feel right now.  If I knew what it was I could explain it, but as far as I'm concerned I'm simply sad and want to go back.  why when I could have done so at so many previous opportunities when it was available?  It's funny how when I am ready and I finally can say what I want, it's no longer important.  I feel the desire for someone who cares...I could find a relationship here! I'm not worried about that, but it's the whole idea that I don't want one with anyone here.

I want what I had...and I guess that's going to be something I have to accept. 
Whatever I'll take it like the champ I always am