I stayed up as long as possible. Romeo saw that I wasn't lookin' too hot so he told me to go to his room to talk. I'm the fool who actually thought he could be there for me. Hah, there was so many guys in his room I couldn't hear myself think. We sat down at his laptop to finish his paper and all I got was, "Whats your problem?(real sweet B...) Is it a guy?(ofcourse) Did you have sex with this guy?(maybe thats the problem, that I didnt sleep with him) You gotta find NICE guys Sarah!(theres no such thing) Every guy in this room is very nice why don't you try your luck with them?(translation: why don't you sleep with one of us, we can make you forget)" Atleast he made me laugh right? It was about a guy, a very nice guy whom If were truly mine I wouldn't think twice about what I could be missing. Does anyone understand what can happen in 24 hours much less than a whole year? This past week I've grown closer to more people I care less about and farther from him who I want to care about, and it hurts my heart to think back.

I knew I should have stayed awake longer than Gavin's call at 2:00am, I knew what was going to happen and sure enough it did.
I saw the way things were before all of this. (No no I would never go back to change it if I had the oppurtunity) I felt that comfort that security; I felt the rage when I answered the phone to the wrong person, and the lack of remorse on my part. But I felt it as though we were really jogging together and we were really going to watch a movie, and when I dialed his phone number I really heard his voice penetrate my ears and heart...As though he would actually answer my call with that same tone I used to hear. Sure enough the first thing I thought of this morning was calling him, as I was previously used to for so long. That's a very hard, monotonous habit to break. After a year with the only person who saw you for you, how can it just drop from my speculations? The one thing I've come to realize I need is him. I need him even though he doesn't want or need me after everything "I've done" (Cause he's so perfect).

Now the day will be ruined and my heart who's got a mind of her own will battle with reality as they try to sort out truth from fairy tales.
I knew I should have pulled an All-Nighter