Selfish?
 
To want alone time with my mother whom I'll never have the same relationship with ever agian?  Her; with whom I can never go back on those safe haven days and know that this is right. 
 
Wrong?
 
To go back home for the holiday and find myself just as lonely if not worse, than before I left?  Is that so horrible to want to be at home without that awkward being walking around as if he knew where he was going!  Like he knew exactly where the wine glasses are kept, and which closet the hand towels are stored...that is my house and the things they are doing is supposed to be a slow progression.
 
Not to mention the very evident fact that ALL I WANT IS A DAY with her, since I haven't seen that in awhile.  Well so much for that because I said it's all or nothing since she took it upon herself to invite him.  And the worst part is she said that she didn't want to come see for an hour and have to make that drive alone. 
 
AN HOUR?
 
Got big plans today or something mom?  I put out the notion that I wanted to see her and I made the effort and from the moment I said it, everything turned to hell.
Poor Mike never saw that side of me before and I felt embarassed...but the extremity of my mood just couldn't be contained, what can ya do?! 
I don't think I'm going to talk to her for awhile because I don't even think she knows what she's doing.  I'm going to wait a couple days to cool off because every time I think about it I start to breakdown...