Continued from last post 3/28
the day I forgot to write down

He only brought wheat thins, and I only brought my smiling face so we opted for something with a little more substance.

"I'll drive," he said in a meek voice "Where do you want to go?"

I shouldn't have suggested it, but I knew that he didn't know. Still though, it would be in my mind when we sat down at the table and looked around at the same scenery. I'd feel odd fumbling through the menu and conversing over similar potential appetizers to hold us off while deep in conversation. And what if we were to be sat in the same table? The exact table where me and someone else looked at the water with smiles on both our faces, completely disregarding his pain large enough to fill that ocean we were admiring.

"How about the Palm Pavillion?" I did it anyways.

I'm not going to lie, I felt a little guilty about our lunch plans as we were walking to his car. But everywhere else was tainted with other men as well. I assumed this restaurant symbolized the least threatning of his competetors, so maybe I was doing both of us a favor...?
And before I could argue with that ridiculous notion, there it was. Shaking off my sandy shoes and feet my heart raced a little remeniscing the days when he drove the two of us around. I tried to wipe my feet bare of sand, maybe to gather my thoughts and recooperate. But mostly to stall and waste time because I knew the affects that the smaller things in our relationship had one me, especally in regards to the big picture. I opened the door to find myself suffocated in his scent, our memories, and my regret. I jumped in and sat down into Gainesville where he used to drive me on Saturday's out to Newberry for lunch. I looked over and for a breif moment it was like I was there, and the love in his heart was obvious in his demeanor. I pretended as he started the car that we would take a left onto Newberry Road and find ourselves in our favorite place together. But through the dark shades of my glasses it was still clear that his face was stoic and apprehensive. I silently released tears behind my glasses that he didn't notice, and I looked out the window at the strip like I was a tourist waiting for the driver to slow down to take a picture. I was supposed to be the one who had my heart and emotions under control, I wouldn't be able to handle it if he knew I was upset. It was just easier for me to act like the one who didnt get emotional, I figured I didn't want to switch roles with him because it would let him have that victory or sense of revenge on me....

T.B.C SUCKA!!!!