Did some shopping tonight and dyed my beautiful locks black...

I'm heading off to bed but as I was doing some analysis of my poetry from another site (Visualsarahj.blogspot.com) I figured I'd check up on you.

I can't say that I've been there, nor can I say that I understand...

But giving one's trust is a UNIVERSAL worry as well as a doubt. Never have I been physically hurt by anyone, but I believe that emotional damage and physical are along the same lines. Your bruises will fade, but those memories are everlasting. One day if you slowly let it creep into your life, someone will prove to you that it doesn't have to be the way you fear it is.

I don't trust anyone for a second. I second guess my own mother and question situations like no other. With guys..it's a whole other game. I rarely believe in anything spoken, and I make radical assumptions in my head based on a pattern from the past.

I just want to tell you I'm Sorry. I know it's not much consolation at this point but I've been there. I was once the girl who slept with one guy and left two minutes after to go to another bed. It was bad but I felt good. I felt like I finally had control over the game. It was like, they weren't fucking me over, I was playing them. While I did all the promises and sweet talking, they were looking intently into my lying eyes with a FALSE SENSE SECURITY. It was about time anyways, that they experience what I felt. But when some came crying back with complaints of needing more than sex, and wanting something serious...I didn't feel guilty. I should have and I was a little bit sorry...but not enough to stop.

Until I had a reason to...I let it happen because that feeling in my heart told me it might be something good for a change. Who knows if he's good or not...I worry everyday about being hurt and broken hearted. That thought never leaves my mind

But you'll never know unless you try right

So sorry