I Don't Want To Light A Fire- Unless It Will Warm Your Heart...

I think it's just the way the holiday season is so hyped up for love and togetherness that brings single folk like me down. (I'll have a blue Christmas without you) But whatever I'll just have my "togetherness" with every guy I see.

Went to the mall with Jenn today and though I had a sure fire plan to start on that
"togetherness" idea, I decided I'm going out tonight. I know it's odd for me to turn down such a garunteed offer to play that game where everyone wins (haha), but I think it will be fun to go out with Jenn. We are driving to Orlando (she forgot to turn in her key or something) and then going out to Cowboys (like Round Up) with her friends. That sounds more fun when I can get the D at the snap of my finger anyways (knock on wood for me)!!

I missed him agian and that notion of being helpless for almost the first time in a relationship crept into my bed. I haven't gotten upset over it since last Sunday, but it was the alcohol that initiated the thoughts and then absence brought on the tears. I think it's a desperate feeling that nobody should have to go through. But it's the shitty things in life that take us to a different place with new expectations and knowledge.

Now I realize that I'm college and there are no expectations and it's common knowledge to GO BIG (it only happens once).