She Wishes She Were 10 Agian

Because only then is it not normal to leave dread and doubt behind...who even knows if the words were a part of my vocabulary. Dread isn't just fear. It's fear of the UNKNOWN. It's a certain feeling of what's going to happen but the outcome is far from our understanding. I dread what my doubted abilities will offer me when it's time to stand before those who hold my future carelessly in their hands.

Maybe it's because I'm 18, And he's 16 locked inside a 20 year old's beautiful body. Not immature but I definatly wouldn't call traveling the current state of events a means of settling down. But it's probably my age that says I don't need to talk when it's over. I'm too young to want to ponder what life brings us and that leaves us in an eerie silence until we both fall asleep. Me desperatly waiting for your arm to brush mine and realize that that is where it is supposed to be.
But it was a cold day out today, the morning was brutal with wind and a dull hue of gray clouds. Who can have such high hopes in weather like that? Undoubtedly I thought of tomorrow in a sense of a year and didn't see anyone standing next to me. I dread the day when reality will wrap it's deadly grip around me. Until I fear for my life and only then will I agree to understand that this, this right here, that over there I just kissed goodnight...is only a myth.