I May Hate Myself In The Morning But I'm Gonna Love You Tonight


How many times will I wake up to someone else's unfamiliar breath on the back of my neck before I finally realize that I have to go farther back into the night to change it- not just the minutes before.

It wouldn't be on my mind unless I was biting my lower lip while closing my eyes wondering, "What would it be like?" It's a curiousity for the unknown but sometimes the ease in which it is to find out, makes me tempted all the more.

I wouldn't ask the question without already knowing the answer, And he certainly wouldn't say no without understanding the unspoken agreement that goes along with, 'Can I go home with you?'

So us winding up in each other's arms for the night while stating to each other through uncertain eyes that, yes, we do belong here together
As if to placate each other and actually believe that one of us is fooling the other-
Not ourselves

Turned into another regret that goes along with some sad song on the radio that I listen to on the way home. And most the time I can fall asleep without remorse and justify it with some ode to college line- but am I truly dismissing the trouble that adds up in my heart? Is it even humanly possible to forget that I need 10 fingers and 2 toes to see every face that I let in?

This time I'm not pacing back and forth by the phone honestly questioning Why he hasn't called. I'm almost at their point now, where I don't want a call. But I am agian writing about some travesty that could have been avioded if not for my promiscious mind (oh yeah- I blame my imagination for this one...does that even work as an excuse?) and easily persuaded personaility-
Repeating over and over to the point where silence could never be restored that I'm not like those girls anymore who stay consistent with their beliefs and firm in their morals.

But Me? I'm like water colors...I wash away