Very tired, but not tired enough to quite the books or to write. Still have some reading to do and note reviewing before I close my eyes.

Hadn't seen Alex since Wednesday until I saw him yesterday. Had a really nice evening:

Went to blockbuster and walked around for like 30 minutes dissing every movie we each picked out....

We eventually came to a nice consensus (which means I let him pick 3 movies and bit my toungue). He finally witnessed my awful eating habits when I dismantled two cheeseburgers and put them together to basically make nothing but two peices of meat and an inch of bread.

The Ted Bundy movie was definatly interesting....yeah there's no need to elaborate on that one, it was just weird. Then we fell asleep watching "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest", a movie which I would love to see how it ends. I was making my own assumptions and it was totally off since he had read the book, but it was still fun to make up pretend romances and fueds between the characters.

Today was fun, just layed around and talked then took a nap watching another STUPID movie.

Damn...all of this looks so boring! I'm almost positive people wonder why I look forward to, and miss the time we share! I'm so happy when we are together and the things we talk about and laugh about seem way too good to be true. Like, this seems almost too easy. I'm anxious to see what it's like two months from now...if it even goes that far. I hope it does and I've no reason to think it wouldn't last but I wonder if it's just the "newness". I hope not though.

We had good talks today and I opened up a teency bit about how it feels to just lay with him. Nothing I've ever experienced compares to it...who knew I could actually cuddle with someone knowing the feelings were equal. With Jason, ugh, I'm gonna be sick....hold on please...

Ok sorry that name makes me vomit, but anyways with Jason, I knew I was playing with fire. When we kissed, I knew he didn't care how it was done, what he was doing with his hands or mind(to a certain extent though) but I was too infatuated to acknowledge that small part of me.

I can't go anywhere without feeling a part of him on me.(Purely innocent) I've never been satisfied with someone's hands all over my body...even the little chub I've got. I don't care at all because if he didn't approve then he wouldn't go there ya know...? There isn't a part of me (unless its tickelish) that I don't want him to see or touch. (He hasn't seen anything but when that time comes, I don't care.)

Considering he has a TWIN bed in the barrecks, it's not exactly an easy night's sleep. Anyone else and I'd probably sleep on the floor...but the idea of him not holding me or not feeling his warmth is absolutly crazy to me.

Ofcourse all of this is good...but it's so new. I've never ever ever gotten that feeling inside when he touches me. Ehh..maybe once or twice but not half as much as with Alex. Everything is so different, so out of the norm that I'm taken back by what happens almost everyday. Think of the sacrifice my SELFISH being does! I'm mean usually...I don't smile, I don't laugh too much unless it's AT someone, and I certainly don't LOSE sleep for anyone. But I can't see Alex until almost 11pm cause of his work schedule, but I go every time I can...and I never have an attitude and I'm never caught without a smile. I drown him with kisses which is CA-RAZY! Sometimes kissing isn't my thing, but everyday we have this thing where we see who gives more affection (I think he wins but I definatly give him more kisses). I have so much fun and so much happiness I don't know what to do with myself after I leave. It's good though to leave and let each of us be alone.

I have a really pretty blue dress that I'm wearing tomorrow and I'm bringing him dinner since he got so much for me yesterday and today. I have a meal plan so I might as well put it to use huh? I am moving into Danielle's room halfway on Thursday night, and then my too cool for school friend clayton is coming to help us on friday. I'm so excited for them to meet...I don't necessarily think too much will come out of it but a friendship but ya never know right...? She's a fun and crazy girl and he's a fun (but definatly not crazy) guy so maybe they can be FUN together...(oh my gosh!)

Well I've let out most of the energy for the night now I need to wind down and read some great literature! Woo Hoo...