Wooooo...so last night was really fun. We talked about a lot of stuff and kissed for the longest time ever. It was different agian. Getting more comfortable..but not too much

I thought of nothing more than giving in to all of it and trying/allowing to get what I wanted. But where's the specialness in all of that? It hasn' t even been a month. He doesn't try to go there, but that's good to me. As much as I do, I definatly don't and would regret it if we did.

Tonight I have cheerleading till 11:00pm (If all goes according to plans....aaaahhhh wish me luck) so I'm not going to Alex's. Plus I have the worst fucking class of my life tomorrow. Ew! Intro to Education. It's a horrible 3 hour long class that starts at 8:00am! EW! I'm definatly not looking forward to it, and I'm not going to get to sleep very early at all cause I'm moving tonight when I get back. Ugghh....

Friday I'm going over to Alex's and then Saturday we are going to the beach!!! I'm so excited but I don't know why. We never have time to DO much cause it's so late (except walk on the beach at night) so we are making a day of something. And then I reluctantly agreed to watch that STUPID DUMB movie Sky cap or whatever...? Oh my goodness...he said "Man, I wish I could find a girl to watch that with me. It would totally prove she liked me"
And I said, "Your an asshole if you play that game of proving....but I'll watch it with you"

Soooo...we will see how that one goes. It looks so incredibly RETARDED( kinda like you huh? wow what a coincidence)
Um it happened really fast last night and I don't even know WHY? We had been sleeping for like 3 hours and I got up to get a drink and then I came back and he was holding me like he was awake (when he sleeps he just holds my hand or puts his hands on my legs). But I wasn't too sure until he was like rubbing my legs and pulled it over his own legs...I thought maybe he was half awake and wanting to be sweet. Uh...he was definatly sweet alright. He definatly wanted to do something and it took my atleast 15 minutes to let it happen...I'm so crazy about someone actually going inside of my clothes ya know? I don't know if I like it until I'm really comfortable. But I let it happen and I wasn't complaining afterwards. I don't know why he did it, but It was definatly a treat at 4:30 in the morning. Imagine if we lived together, I could casually wake him up and we could get it on. That's the kinda guy I need...ready at all times pretty much.

I am starting to realize that I'm really liking him. It seems to go beyond the boundaries of a normal crush and into the unmentionable areas. Unmentionable because I don't say the L word or anything along those lines in reference to me and truth. I can joke about love and toss around the idea playfully...but when we're talking business it's strictly prohibited.

Prior to meeting him, I had this defense up and I was very secure about what I wanted to do. But one look, one touch from him, and all that was just meaningless words scattered on the floor.

There isn't anything more than this right now, that I'd want and nurture forever.

Highlights of the night:
*Alex walking two miles to the front gate after a lONG day of work
*Talking about what we want in life (Go figure, it was relatively the same)
*Him wishing me luck tonight with cheer (that's so sweet of him to even REMEMBER)
*That feeling in my gut I get everytime he touches me...