Have you seen this color blue?

What about this one?

My eyes look like this today...and sometimes when I turn my head just right it looks like this...

I don't know exactly what it is...but I've never seen blue like that before. Something has definatly changed though I can't find the guts to admit it. Last time I said that, hah, it was a lie. A lie told because there wasn't anyone else to tell it to. And now those days are thankfully over with the relief of new ones! I want to confess to myself and accept it, though I'm too afraid this time because it's REAL. I'm not playing a game to see how long it takes for me to win...

Today I briefly thought about early this morning with alex, and without my consent, a soft moan came creeping through the crevice of my lips. It was so unexpected, and I was shocked and looked to see if anyone heard me. I've never let out sighs or anything of that nature without first acknowledging it would happen. My heart there after definatly skipped atleast 2 beats and my stomach turned over and over.

I think my biggest fear is he's going to wake up and say, "I changed my mind". I don't think that's going to happen just because the way we are right now, but it troubles me. I've never wished so many times a day, and prayed so much in my life. Not wishful, selfish prayers. Thankful and apologetic prayers. Acknowledging where I went wrong before, and promising, if not assuring that this if possible would most definatly be different.

Mrs. Alex Cook...
Professor Cook

I just wanted to see what it looked like (don't act like you didn't know EVERY girl does it), don't jump to any conclusions