"Here Sarah", she said as she threw a box at me that hit me in the butt, "You'll need it for all the times you get upset"

"Shutup", I said snobbishly and bit my toungue for fear that I'd rub in her face the consecutive nights of pain she went through. She could be rude and I wanted to show her that I could be just as uncouth...instead I chucked it harder and promised that it would be her who need it on those lonely nights rahter than I.
Foolishness...

We probably equally used that box of tissues and sought out comfort in its contents almost every night. But I tossed it in the trash as we left the dorm last summer, blindly thinking that since I knew where I wanted to be I would no longer need to cry.
Foolishness...

Doesn't mean anything when your head is clear and you know where it is you want to go and whose company you'd most of all enjoy.
Worthless...

I'm so quiet now. Don't want to answer my phone even when I do have the minutes. Partly because it strikes me in my neck every time I speak aloud, but also because that voice just isn't there. Even when I do speak and try to voice what I feel and what I think....nobody hears it. Maybe sometimes but not when it matters the most to me.

That's just nonsense up there...
I can write about something thats fact and something that can be dated and proven true FOREVER. Nothing up there or in the past is always true...no matter how stubborn a heart you have. The fact that my body aches from morning till night is real, and nothing and I mean nothing stops it from plaguing and stifling my every day....

But the idea of growth and change, is constantly evolving; Never staying the same and always making ammendments. I'd be a cruel cruel person to stunt the growth of another and hold them back from what they really could be.

I could promise so many times that there isn't anything that is the same (save a few good things) and with only the ability to do so, could such greatness come about....this is for sure. I've realized that promises aren't always as valid as they seem to be. But this is certain and I will promise it with great honesty and confidence.
More on promises much later...